Articles
Affair-Proof Your Marriage
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And when [Bathsheba's] mourning was over, David sent and brought her to his house, and she became his wife and bore him a son. But the thing that David had done displeased the LORD. (2 Sam. 11:27)
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If "a man after God's own heart" can fall to the temptation of adultery, it can happen to any of us. We can learn much from the story of David and Bathsheba about how to avoid the life-destroying pain of an illicit affair.
First, spend quality time with your spouse. David already had several wives, but we read nothing about his interactions with any of them except his first wife, Michal--and his neglect of her was indefensible. David was too busy building an empire to tend to his domestic affairs, and his lack of involvement at home came back to haunt him. Even his children despised him. Husbands and wives must prioritize their lives to allow the time necessary to build a close, mutually supportive relationship with each other.
Second, avoid opportunities for temptation. As soon as David caught a glimpse of a woman bathing on her rooftop across the way, he should have turned around immediately and gone back into his house. Instead, he looked . . . and stared . . . and lusted . . . and yielded to the unthinkable. Most affairs today begin by men or women getting careless in their interactions with members of the opposite sex. Innocent, casual acquaintances can quickly turn into irresistible entanglements. Set firm boundaries on such acquaintances and do not compromise them.
Finally, get serious about your faith. David fell into sin because in his heart he had drifted away from God. His passion for the Lord in the early years had waned into a dull routine, to the point that he could commit adultery and even murder, yet somehow justify it as no big deal. In the cases of adultery that I have known over the years, in every case one or both spouses were already spiritually lethargic; the adultery was simply the dramatic final fruit of a faith that had gone cold.
Do you want an affair-proof marriage? Draw closer to your spouse. Avoid enticing relationships. Rekindle a deep passion for God. Do these things, and your marriage will become an impregnable fortress that Satan cannot assail.
--David
