Articles
On Dismantling Barriers
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[Onesimus] I wished to keep with me, that on your behalf he might minister to me in my chains for the gospel. But without your consent I wanted to do nothing, that your good deed might not be by compulsion, as it were, but voluntary (Philemon 13-14).
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good (Rom. 12:21).
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While serving as a delegate in the Pennsylvania legislature early in his career, Benjamin Franklin became the target of an older rival. The antagonist (whom Franklin does not identify in his autobiography) saw Franklin as a threat and circulated hateful comments about him. Franklin was shrewd enough to recognize that trying to conquer his opponent in a political battle would accomplish nothing constructive, so he took a more novel approach. He sent a letter to the man asking to borrow a particular book from his library. The rival, somewhat taken aback by the request, obliged and sent the book. A week later, Franklin returned the book with a nicely worded thank-you note. From that day forward, Franklin and his new library buddy became good friends.
The apostle Paul never heard of "the Franklin Effect," as this phenomenon has become known, but he employed it to good effect in his little letter to Philemon. The circumstances were fraught with the risk of an ugly blow-up: Philemon's slave, Onesimus, had run away, and Paul was sending the young man back to his master. But Onesimus also carried this letter from Paul with a request very similar to Franklin's: could Philemon please allow Onesimus to serve Paul in his own imprisonment? It was a request that would relieve Philemon of a personnel problem, while doing a favor for an old friend.
The psychology of this request was brilliant. Paul was placing himself in a subservient role before Philemon, with Philemon holding all the cards. But the very nature of that lopsided relationship was more likely to soften the master's heart and win his cooperation.
In their respective strategies, both the apostle Paul and Benjamin Franklin were following the counsel of the world's greatest psychologist: "Whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant. And whoever desires to be first among you, let him be your slave" (Matt. 20:26-27). Humility breaks down more barriers and wins more friends than confrontation can ever accomplish. As counter-intuitive as it may seem, the best way to win friends and influence people is to place ourselves in a deferential position toward them.
Of course, there is one catch to this strategy: It only works if we have a heart of genuine humility. Which is probably why we see so little of it in a world consumed by a spirit of domination.
--David
